I don’t like this feeling.

•August 6, 2011 • Leave a Comment

I feel like my friends aren’t really my friends anymore,
like they’re completely different people and I don’t know them anymore.
I thought I was important to them and that they liked me
but I haven’t seen or heard from any of them in so long.
When I do see them, it’s like it’s not really them.
They’ve changed too much…or maybe I’ve changed.
They’ve all moved on with their lives, but not me.
I’m stuck here, unable to move, same old routine day in and day out.
When we talk it’s at though we have nothing in common anymore.
All they’re interested in is going out and picking up or being with their boyfriends.
The people who I thought would never leave me have gone and done just that when I needed them the most, not that they know that of course.
Maybe if I told them that I was miserable and lonely they would come back, but it would only be put of pity.
I’m sure if any of them read this they would disagree and say they loved me and that I’m being stupid,
but I know that I’m one of those people who fades away into the distance and out of peoples lives completely.
I suppose I’m meant to walk this earth alone for eternity.
It just goes to show that I shouldn’t let anyone in because they’re just going to leave in the end anyway.

7:29 am

•February 27, 2011 • Leave a Comment

is the train i have to catch tomorrow morning.
kill me.
i’m seriously scared now.
i know no one, i don’t know where i’m going, and i don’t have anything.
i’m trying so hard to take my mind off it…

this man ❤

nothing to say

•February 25, 2011 • Leave a Comment

really…just feel like rambling on and on about random things.
i’ve recently discovered that i’m not as awful at painting as i thought i was…
and now i can’t stop…every couple of days i’ve got a new one to work on,
but i don’t want to use up all my ideas because i start my course in 3 days 😐

i wish i knew how to play the guitar 😦

this video makes my life ❤

The Fear

•February 24, 2011 • Leave a Comment

is subsiding…slightly.
the reason my timetable was so confusing was because it wasn’t actually my timetable 🙂
problem solved!

i cannot WAIT to get my tattoo.
i’m seriously excited right now. but i don’t know where to go!
i want to go somewhere good like brunswick or blackburn because i know they won’t do a dodgy job…
and RACHEL IS GOING WITH ME! hoorah this couldn’t get any better, really 🙂

i really, REALLY love the Coen Brothers…really badly. their movies make my life worth living.

The Chamber

•February 17, 2011 • Leave a Comment

best song.

i don’t know what’s wrong with me lately.
that hatred is coming back 😀 so you two better watch your backs.
ever since that night out i don’t want anything to do with anybody, even the ones who weren’t there.
i kind of like all the time to myself, it has it’s moments…but it’s boring mostly.

tafe starts soon…i’m sort of scared.
i want a new start; new school, new friends, new opportunities.
in my head i have this perfect year planned but i’ve got this feeling that everything will be the same as it is now.
i’ll be all weird and awkward and introverted and no one will really want to befriend me…
urgh, i can see it now.

i’m falling in love with Dylan Moran all over again ❤

Are You Gonna Go My Way?

•January 22, 2011 • Leave a Comment

i can’t believe it,
i got accepted into Swinburne University of Technology…
after all that happened with the interview 😐
i thought it was absoloutely shocking…they must’ve been desperate.
Diploma of Visual Art here i come 😀

Say It Ain’t So…

•January 10, 2011 • Leave a Comment

i’ve really let this thing go, over 2 months since my last post and so much to say…
but i can’t be bothered explaining everything in full detail so i’ll sum it up in dot points:
-finished high school and VCE
-got my atar and died a little inside
-mother and entire side of her family disappointed in me
-didn’t get into any courses
-practically lived with mary, sandy and maria
-went to the beach a lot
-watched a lot of TV
-became addicted to Metalocalypse
-got back into metal
-planning on getting a tattoo
-designing it
-saw rach for the first time in 2 years ❤